Rubber aka (Really, A F*@king Killer Tire??!! )

First off,let state,that I LOVE HD Movie Net. Its not the greatest movie channel ever,they dod show a lot of old stuff that I have no interest in,but they also show a bunch of stuff that I might not ever catch if they didn't show it.Thanks Mark Cuban.....

See at least once a month,they show a "sneak peek" showing of an independent film,usually,but not always a genre film. I have seen some great stuff early before they hit the screens in their limited release (which rarely if ever show on any screens in my area) and dvd,which I would have to more than likely have to buy to see (legally) since its more than likely not going to be in the Red Box up the street and no one goes to Blockbuster anymore so I doubt they would have half of these either.Anyways,its a pretty good deal this channel has going,plus these movies are in HD so that is pretty sweet also.Not that standard def bullshit that shows on Chiller (seriously,that channel is the worse looking channel of all time....get with the program!! Hopefully Comcast will get them up to speed) with 900 commercials every 8 minutes for back hair remover and that damn shower foot washer thing.....

Anyways, if it wasn't for HDMN, I probably wouldn't have seen "Rubber". I have read mostly really positive reviews for it,but seriously,a killer tire movie just sounds too ridiculous even to me....so now at least I can say I have seen it.

This movie is definitely not for everyone,I mean,again its a rolling around the desert killing people by exploding their heads "Scanners" style with a group of people watching this shit with binoculars from a distance (no explanation why the fuck these people are out there watching this shit is ever given). Its very random and would make a better short film,rather than an almost 90 minute film.

Honestly,I don't get the love that this movie is getting.It does have some funny and clever moments.But its just too out there for me.....look I'm not a moron jackass (regardless what the wife claims),I "got" the film,I just thought it was ok,and something I absolutely never need to see again.

So if you gotta see a killer tire movie than this is the one to see,but if you think its the stupidest sounding idea for a film since "Jaws: The Revenge" or some asshole giving Carrot Top a starring role in a movie,than there is no way in hell that you will like this so don't waste your time.

Paul aka (Not HAHAHAHAHA Funny,but more hehe Funny)

I LOVE "Shaun of the Dead" and I LOVE "Superbad" so when you put the creators of both together to make a film about a smart mouthed lil alien dude voiced by Seth Rogen you just think you might have the makings of comic gold. Well its not gold,but its not bad either.

"Paul" is the story of two geeks from England played by Simon Pegg and Nic Frost who are visiting the States to go to Comicon in San Diego and then visit all the famous "UFO" sites (think Area 51 and such). Well these two stumble upon an escaped alien (voiced by Rogen) who needs their help because the government is planning on deep sixing him and using his stem cells for research.

This film has a ton of people in it. I mean a ton,didn't go into it knowing all that much about it,so I was surprised at how many people they had in this film.They range from big parts for Kristen Wiig,Jason Batemen,Bill Hader...and so on and so on......if you have seen "Superbad" its got half the supporting cast in it.

Now,this isnt the laugh riot I thought it might be,Jason Batemen who has had some very funny roles,and specializes in the dry witty type roles,doesn't really have much of anything to do in this film.I mean his character is important and a sizable role,but its a straight role,that any jack ass no talent could do....Fucking Freddy Fucking Prinze Jr. could have played the role and it wouldn't have mattered. Actually I'm kinda amazed I have actually mention that no talents name twice in one day....just tells ya what I think of the mentioned roles......Ok back to the film,anyways it is funny and an enjoyable little flick.

I don't think anyone went into this thinking it would be a HUGE summer type release,and its not,its a nice time waster.They didn't set out to reinvent the wheel of comedy,but its a decent enough film.

And its nice to see Rogen branching out,but knowing his limits (kudos to him),he's good in certain parts and so I'm glad with this and "The Green Hornet" that he seems to have found his comfort zone.....for a while there I thought he was going to burn hisself out to the public by just about doing every film being made.....The dudes a funny dude,heres hoping he keeps picking the right roles.

So,to sum it up,you don't "Gotta See This !!" on the big screen,but if you don't feel like seeing Zack Snyders latest film that costs $150 mil to make and will make $45 mil aka "Sucker Punch" or you don't have any moneygrubbing snot nosed kid to drag your ass to either "Rango" or that "Wimpy Kid" bullshit,and you don't want to see Matt Damons latest "What the Fuck Dude?" flick.....you could do a lot worse.....

The Tourist aka (One Long Boring Mess)

Well that was disappointing. This is one long boring ass flick. Its got gorgeous scenery,Angelina Jolie looks fantastic (but could stand to eat a bit...Brad take her to a buffet or two dude),but damn this is one hollow ass film.

"The Tourist" is about an accomplice to a mob banker (Ms. Jolie),whose in Venice to meet said mob banker who has stolen over 2 billion dollars from the mob.He's evidently gone underground and changed his looks so much that no one will recognize him.Oh and Interpol is also after him. So with everyone and their mom looking for this dude,they need a decoy which comes in the form of Johnny Depp as a math teacher from Wisconsin (so one of the few recent roles where he doesnt have any kind of odd accent). So its laid out where you would think you could have some fun with the local and maybe have some nice action scenes and maybe some humor and voila a decent little action comedy.....uhm no.

Seriously this movie is poorly paced,what action scenes there are,aren't exactly exciting,and you have one of the most charismatic actors who is known for eccentric and entertaining characters and you have him in the role of one of the most boring non descript roles I think I have ever scene him in. This role is probably the least interesting character for Depp this side of his role in "The Nineth Gate". I mean they could have had anyone play this part and it wouldn't have mattered....seriously they could have gotten a dullard like Freddy Fucking Prinze Jr to play the part and it really wouldnt have been much different. Well other than maybe Anjelina saying"Fucking Prinze Jr??? Really fuck that I'm not fucking acting in a movie with fucking Freddy Prinze Jr!!).

Anyways,this is one big missed oppurtunity. If you gotta see it,spend the dollar at Red Box or those new Blockbuster machines (but for Gods sake return that shit within 24 hours so you dont spend more than that dollar).

Hall Pass aka (How The Farrelly Brothers Got Their Groove Back)

Well its about time Owen Wilson got his groove back. I know he had some issues a few years back,and he has been in some films since then,but I mean you star in "Marley and Me" no one gives a rats ass about who the people are,its about the frickin dog,they could have cast frickin Corey Feldman in it and it wouldn't have mattered.*

Anyways, I know a lot of people either love the dude or hate him,but ever since 1996 and "Bottle Rocket" I have loved the dudes just gee whiz care free attitude in films.He can be very funny.Ok your pretty much getting Owen Wilson as Owen Wilson,but I'll take that of the fat dude from "King of Queens" who's a one trick pony "Hey I'm Fat!!"... anyways I usually enjoy his flicks.But his recent films have been kind of ehhh.Well he comes back in spades with this film.

Same with the Farrelly brothers,I mean these guys in the 90's made some very funny films,from "Dumb and Dumber", their "Godfather" "Something About Mary",and "Me,Myself,and Irene".But after that they seemed to have lost their way,with crap that just wasn't as good,"Shallow Hall" and "Stuck On You"...just dull forced non funny over long crap. But damn did they get it right with "Hall Pass".

These two guys, Wilson and "Saturday Night Lives" Jason Sudekis are normal married guys who like all married dudes every once in a while likes to look at the chicks while with the wife and stuff and as stated in the film think if they weren't married they'd be banging every hard body around.So their wifes,the always good lucking Christina'You'll Always Be Kelly Bundy To Me" Applegate and the very cute Jenna Fischer decide to let them have a week of freedom.

This film is funny as hell,its seems like the Farrelly's took what was really funny from their old comedies and mixed it up with some Apatow like situations and brought to the screen some comic gold.This film is very funny. Now I will say,for the most part this is more of a guys film,so women might not like it as much,even though to be fair the two female costars actually have a decent amount to do in the film.So I don't know if this would be a preferable date night flick,or more of a guys night out kind.Probably a guys night out,if your with the lil lady just take her to "Red Riding Hood" if ya gotta see a comedy (yeah I know its not a comedy but have you read reviews about that piece of shit?Jeez).....

Anyways I LOVED this flick and when it comes out on Blu Ray I will definitely be buying this sooooo it can take its place with my other summer time late night "Scott Comic Gold Flicks" along with "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "Dazed and Confused"....I will be watching the shit out of it....I know my wife will be looking forward to it!!

* OK so this further strengthens that you CANNOT call Jennifer Aniston a Movie Star. Every movie that she has had that's been a hit is because she has a smart agent who knows to put her in flicks opposite an adorable dog in a film based on like the 2005 book of the year that was a stone cold lock to be a hit.Star opposite Jim Carrey and Vince Vaughn when you know everyone is going to see them,not her,and then do safe ensemble flicks that stars a shit load of people ala "He's Just Not Into You"....Shes not a box office draw,I mean no one saw "The Good Girl" or "Rumor Has It".

But to be fair to her,I'll take her every day of the week over that uber bitch Katherine Heigl!!

The Expendables aka (The Movie Equivalent of Nickleback- Corny,Cheesy,Generic,Dumb,and Just Basically Sucks)

The Expendables was probably one of my bigger disappointments of last summer. The previews had made it look like it might be a fun, action flick with a wink and not taking itself too seriously. And after seeing the A Team,which I thoroughly enjoyed for its comedic tone and enjoyable action, I was hoping for something similar with this. Damn was I disappointed.

The cats for this movie was like an old school action junkies wet dream, Stallone, Dolph Lundgren,Jet Li,Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bruce Willis,Ahnold, Jason Statham, and Mickey Rourke,and Eric Roberts being all Eric Robertsy (Gotta love when he goes all Eric Robertsy).....if done right this could have been a blast.Unfortunately its done for the most part very seriously and its written and acted like its straight out of 1985. And that's unfortunate.

See,until "Die Hard" came out in 88' most action flicks had turned into basically all the same generic crap....our hero is this unstoppable dude who goes to some made up country (with a ridiculously bad name,with a bad generic usually Hispanic character actor as some hokey "EVIL" dictator), said hero meets within the first 5 minutes of being in the country some ridiculously hot chick who's either leading a revolution against said dictator,or just out for revenge for said dictator killing her family or her dog or something. Then you'd get an hour of explosions, the hero sneaking up behind some non descript soldiers who would just be deaf as hell and always looking the opposite direction just waiting to either have their throat slashed,or neck broken,without getting one shot off or making any noise what so ever. Then big fight with the dictators roided up main guy,kill that dude,have a final stand off with the dictator holding the awesomely hot chick at gunpoint (usually with fire and or explosions all around),kill the dictator,hold the awesomely bosomy chick who now is crying in our hero's arms.....a little prologue where our hero says good by to hot chick and flys off into the sunset.The End.

That's pretty much every action movie from 1983 to 1987....and man were there a shit load of them.Then along came "Die Hard" and that changed things up (At least for a while) with a normal guy trying to handle an extraordinary circumstance against a very cool bad guy (Rickman Rules!!!). Of course after that movie the studios did what they do to everything and ran that kinda flick into the ground,and eventually for the most part action flicks kinda went the way of the DTV and late night cable.

Jason Statham still is making action flicks kinda along these lines,but a lot of them are on the cartoony side and don't take themselves seriously,and once every few years theres a new Fast and the Furious (Whenever the studio and the actors need cash),but you just haven't seen a ton of very memorable action flicks in years.

That seems to be changing a little as now,with this new breed of action flick kinda bringing the popcorn movie fun action of yesteryear's flicks along with a good bit of humor and some entertaining villains,and usually they are never what I just described a few paragraphs ago. Well that is except "The Expendables".

This movie is pretty much every cliche from every bad 80's action movie all rolled into one big boring overly long piece of crap. The actors for the most part are just there.I mean Jet Li seems like he's annoyed that he even has to do any of his action scenes,Stallone is Stallone,Statham is the usual likable chap,but it just seems like everyone is phoning it in.I mean for crying out loud you have Mickey FUCKING Rourke in the damn film and he has absolutely nothing to do in the damn film,except fucking act like he's putting a tattoo on someone and smoking a fucking pipe. Just lame. You know your in trouble when the guy obviously that gets "it" and is just having a blast with his role is Lundgren (who has been relegated to DTV excrement for the last 20 yrs and its obvious he is giving relishing actually being in a movies that's on a big screen,and I'm not talking about a 60 inch plasma) your in trouble.

Hell this movie got to the point when I was sitting there looking at my watch wishing that they'd bring the Dolph back to liven things up (and let me know when that's ever happened to you) and this was after having about 5 beers before the movie and seeing it in the middle of the day. This movie should have had me sitting there with a smile on my face enjoying the shit out of it,but instead I was sitting there wondering if I should have seen "Eat,Fucking Pray,and God Shoot Me Love" instead.......not really,but hopefully you know what I mean.Just a big dull disappointment.

And Soon the Darkness aka (HOTNESS!!!!!)

Hotness!!!!!!!! Seriously, you don't know how long I have been wanting to see this flick!! First off its got yours truly's favorite thing of hotness (well of course after my honey of a wife of course) in Amber "Don't Call Me Ann Heche" Heard (seriously,my wife gave me crap when she came "out"...but would you really not want to see her make out with another woman....really???).

Anyways,between the fantastically hot Ms. Heard (who actually in her last few flicks is showing some pretty decent acting chops to go along with the hotness.....I might be able to forgive her for the craptacular "Stepfather" remake sooner than later) and Odette "When the Hell Did Her Last Name Become Annable" Yustman (the camletoe in "Unborn") you have about as beautiful a pair of leading ladies as you'll ever be able to get. The fact that the film is also a nice little time filler doesn't hurt one bit either.

The film deals with the old standard of young Americans vacationing in a foreign land (Argentina in this case) and running into the wrong group of locals who are definitely on the shady side. yeah this is a remake of a little seen 1970 British thriller,but the basics have been seen a billion times thanks to frickin Eli "Hey Look I'm Hanging With Tarantino and I Haven't Really Done A Whole Hell of A Lot In The Last 4 Years" Roth and "Hostel" back in 2006. Actually its a shame this one wasn't made around that time,because I think it would have been been better recepted by the general public.

Its a good film,beautifully photographed and is well acted.Yeah its not going to change cinematic history,but really if your just in the mood to see a decent little thriller with a severe case of the hotness,you could do WAAAAAY worse than this.