In all my years of watching horror films,I've seen great ones,I've seen some damn fine films,some good/decent ones,and I have seen a bunch of godawful shit. "Phobos" definitely falls into the latter. Man what a total waste of time....seriously,the only good thing that came out of this film is the knowledge that,yes other countries can make films as inept as their American counterparts.
I'm not going to talk too much about this film.....the less said the better,wish I could like forget the fucker.Anyways,the film is about a bunch of 20 somethings that look much like some CW wannabes who are at a nightclub that some of them are prepping to open.(Sounds harmless enough). Well little do they know that their club is located over the remnants of an old KGB bunker that was used for experiments back in the Soviet era.
In a moment that is pretty much directly stolen from the remake of "House On Haunted Hill" they somehow trigger a lock down on the club that causes them to be trapped within the club,with no known way out.Once they find the bunker it appears that some kind of supernatural entity is after them....is it a ghost of some tortured soul that has been trapped down there forever,is it just some unnameable evil that has been contained within these walls for a long time? Who the fuck knows....
Look,the sad bit about this big heaping pile of shit,is that the idea of a Russian flick dealing with unknown evils from the Soviet Union past has possibilities...shit I'm all for it...its nice for it to not be Nazis for a change...I mean in all honesty,the Soviets against the Nazis in World War II to put in perspective would be like trying to figure out if you should root for the Cowboys or the Eagles if your a Redskins fan...their both evil...fuck em both!! Ok that was a bit off the subject,but the whole KGB stuff has possibilities...its fresh....so when film makers run out of Nazi zombie flicks they can turn to those KGB fuckers......so at least the film has that one good thing going for it....but a nice idea does not make a good movie.
A huge problem with it,is that basically anytime something creepy happens in the film (and there are a couple) they are 20 seconds later explained as some easily explainable thing...such as ....well that dead body moved.....because so and so moved it...or that wasn't a KGB spirit that called from a disconnected phone and said you were going to die for answering the phone....it was me!! This shit went on and on....and on....and on....Just awful.Oh there is supernatural shit going on,which made the previously mentioned bullshit all the more nonsensical....this is just a poorly written (kinda like this review) and put together film....just awful....oh and the ending,is a total fucking cop out....I wont say what it is,but I couldn't believe they went there....for those of you that know your TV history lets just say it has a lot in common with the old TV show "Dallas" IFYKWIM.....just fucking flabbergasting.
* Ok that was a LOT longer than I planned for for this review....sorry!!!
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